The Raveling Seams...

This is my status on FB right now. K if you come here, you will find more detail, probably too much detail.

Today was a morning that started late. 6:32am I jump up, realizing the sun is up - it is no longer dark outside. Realization! We are running late. There are four of us that must get dressed for work/school/daycare in 28 minutes. Three of the four can manage pretty well by themselves -
on most days. On a day like today even the adults, me, can't get it all together. So, I throw on a pair of jeans, orange long sleeve top and black flops. I love flip flops and DO actually wear them in the winter - as long as I can. Lucky for me I am in the south. Anyway....b'fast is made (grits for the kids), clothes have been picked out, although E is crying. Why is she crying one might wonder. Well it is now FALL as was determined yesterday by the changing of tree color. So, in the FALL (she is saying fall very loudly with conviction each time she says it) time of year one wears long pants, and a jacket or sweater. OK, those of you who live in Alabama know that it isn't necessary to wear long pants and a jacket/sweater in September - even October for the most part. To get out the door, we let her wear long pants and a jacket.

Move on to 9:00. I have another appointment at the AU Medical Clinic (my new choice of med offices) to see our friend Ginny, who is a Physician's Assistant or aka my new medical professional. Anyway, I had a return visit there b/c I am continuing to have migraines and sinus pressure. I left the medical clinic and head home. I needed to get something out for dinner and well, change clothes. I was terribly casual. Even though this is somewhat accepted in our department, I was VERY casual. So, to feel a little better about myself/the day - I ran home. A crock pot of chili later and a change of shirt/shoes- I felt better. I have to say that I am sometimes amazed at one can accomplish running through their home when kids aren't there. I can get so much done. However, there was STILL a lot of work to be done at home, AND I needed to get back to work.

When I left home this morning, there were things all OVER the house. Dishes in the sink; clothing piling up in the corner of our room where all dirty clothes go in our house; clothes in both the washer and the dryer; no lunch packed for me (very common, I could do this the night before and never do); no breakfast (also very common for me); no exercise - what is that???; toys at the bottom of the stairs; hair things spread all over our room from E; ironing board/iron out; on and on and on. I get in the van...
the gas light comes on. Which isn't a big deal, but just another thing.

On days like today, I feel that I can't get things under control. I can't run a household, take care of kids, be a wife and be me at the same time some weeks. So, today I have felt like the threads holding the seams together are raveling. All too quickly. I like for there to be order in life/day to day living. I like for there to be calmness (my BP was 110/80 by the way - much lower than it has been since having E, 3 years ago - I know, I digress...) Today was a day that I could have and probably should have taken an mental health day off from work. I didn't and it is all ok. I came home with the kids this afternoon and got a lot done. As of this evening, 3 baskets of clean clothes have been put away upstairs in their rooms, our bed is made and has clean sheets on them.

SO, in the grand scheme of things and life in general, life is good. I am blessed and have so many things to be thankful for. But I can get so bogged down and weary (yes, Mrs. B weary- I can hear you say it) at times. When I get to the point that I could stay at home, not answer the phone, not check e-mail and just stay right here - that is when I know I need to slow down. Pull myself together and pay attention to the things that matter.