So, I am lax in blogging again. It has been brought to my attention that I need another post. I can't imagine why anyone would not want to continually see the same photographs of my children over and over and over again as they pass by my blog. Just kidding, of course. It seems as though I have so many thoughts going through my head most days and would like to stop and "write" them down, and never make it to this point.
One thing I have thought a lot, maybe extensively, about is prayer. For those of you who have ever been in a Sunday School class with me have heard me say that I am not all together sure about prayer. Whoa! Now that I have scared some of my readers off, they won't hear the rest of the story. It isn't that I don't believe in prayer, I think my lack of faith stems from not wanting to expect the unexpected. Rather not allowing what can happen to happen, maybe? As I ramble on, maybe this will make some sense. So, in thinking on prayer, I have begun to note things that I should pray about - daily - not just when it is time to pray out of fear, desperation, or crisis. But to pray without ceasing. That is huge for me - to think, much less type it out. One specifically that I should pray for are family - so many stories there. Others I won't name here. But, I do feel that prayer is real, important, necessary... I just need to get to the place that when I pray I truly feel that there is an answer to that prayer and I have to seek Him to know that answer. Right? Or am I wrong. Not to expect the answer that I want, but an answer. Right? That takes me to prayer in my life that hasn't had the end result that I would have wanted or even prayed for. Of course, I think of the death of my mother. At what point does any person get to where they are completely ok with asking God to take their mother? You do and I did. It was real to pray for her healing, knowing that would come in the form of death for her. But at the same time the pain that remains knowing this was the answer - and thankful for it - is unbearable. Then you find yourself on "this side" of the prayer and wonder how you made it this far with that being the answer. There are so many things that I should pray about. I think I may start a list and see where I get. What is my problem? I don't think this is hard and is very easy...my mind just has a hard time wrapping around this prayer "thing". If anyone is still reading, I have probably lost you at this point. Seriously, I need to get back to the place that prayer is a very real part of my life.
Getting tired yet?
On to church work. Mark and I are involved in several committees at our church. Enough said...
On to Cream Horns.
These are like a drug to me, like raw cookie dough in college. After church meetings, bad days at work, with the kids, anytime. So, I have a partner in crime with these little celophane wrapped styrofoam tray treats. Mmmm....they are so awful for one to consume - like a drug. They can not be good for anyone to put in their body. However, let me say, they are the best, most fantastic treat at the end of "one of those days". Here's to you my cream horn friend - may you enjoy the wonderful taste of the bland pastry around the luscious cream inside!
So many more thoughts, I could post about today...but...I have to leave now to go pick up B from school just for him to tell me that he really wishes I worked all day again so that he could go to after-school. Joy Joy.
One thing I have thought a lot, maybe extensively, about is prayer. For those of you who have ever been in a Sunday School class with me have heard me say that I am not all together sure about prayer. Whoa! Now that I have scared some of my readers off, they won't hear the rest of the story. It isn't that I don't believe in prayer, I think my lack of faith stems from not wanting to expect the unexpected. Rather not allowing what can happen to happen, maybe? As I ramble on, maybe this will make some sense. So, in thinking on prayer, I have begun to note things that I should pray about - daily - not just when it is time to pray out of fear, desperation, or crisis. But to pray without ceasing. That is huge for me - to think, much less type it out. One specifically that I should pray for are family - so many stories there. Others I won't name here. But, I do feel that prayer is real, important, necessary... I just need to get to the place that when I pray I truly feel that there is an answer to that prayer and I have to seek Him to know that answer. Right? Or am I wrong. Not to expect the answer that I want, but an answer. Right? That takes me to prayer in my life that hasn't had the end result that I would have wanted or even prayed for. Of course, I think of the death of my mother. At what point does any person get to where they are completely ok with asking God to take their mother? You do and I did. It was real to pray for her healing, knowing that would come in the form of death for her. But at the same time the pain that remains knowing this was the answer - and thankful for it - is unbearable. Then you find yourself on "this side" of the prayer and wonder how you made it this far with that being the answer. There are so many things that I should pray about. I think I may start a list and see where I get. What is my problem? I don't think this is hard and is very easy...my mind just has a hard time wrapping around this prayer "thing". If anyone is still reading, I have probably lost you at this point. Seriously, I need to get back to the place that prayer is a very real part of my life.
Getting tired yet?
On to church work. Mark and I are involved in several committees at our church. Enough said...
On to Cream Horns.
These are like a drug to me, like raw cookie dough in college. After church meetings, bad days at work, with the kids, anytime. So, I have a partner in crime with these little celophane wrapped styrofoam tray treats. Mmmm....they are so awful for one to consume - like a drug. They can not be good for anyone to put in their body. However, let me say, they are the best, most fantastic treat at the end of "one of those days". Here's to you my cream horn friend - may you enjoy the wonderful taste of the bland pastry around the luscious cream inside!So many more thoughts, I could post about today...but...I have to leave now to go pick up B from school just for him to tell me that he really wishes I worked all day again so that he could go to after-school. Joy Joy.
5 comments:
It is truly refreshing to read your blog today. Prayer is not something I do well. More times than not, I feel a huge "ceiling" separating me from God. As if, who am I to ask for anything? And then you throw in the whole sinner am I really forgiven...really messed up logic (if it can be called logic)! So again, maybe there is hope in us all sharing our struggles and being there for each other. OK, now I am rambling...
My "cream horns" come in the form of liquid and tend to be red or white in color.
And on that note...I think I have made enough public confessions for one day!
I'm liking the journey you're on...write more :) And please find some 0 point cream horns, as I'm doing WW again, and you've made me hungry...
You know, I was thinking the same thing last night as I prayed my nightly prayers. I really don't see any results from my praying, therefore I tend to wonder if God really does hear ME. I pray at times when I am fearful or worried. I know that is wrong, but it is what I do. I try so hard to be better, but I fall. I think it is times like these that friends are very important to help pick us up!
Cream horns? I don't know how you eat those...Why do they call them cream HORNS anyway?
I just to think the same thing about prayer. So I tried praying about every little thing and being thankful for every little thing. I found that I was seeing answers, just maybe not the answer I wanted or thought I would get. I believe you have to have faith that your prayer is heard no matter if you see a answer or not.
I've been lax, too! It's good to catch up on yours. I have to say -- I've never heard of a cream horn...!! I'll have to look into those. I'd bet $50 that they won't be found at my local Food Valu.
Hope you have a wonderful week.
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