"Where's your mom?"

This is a question that B asked at about the same age that E is now. She has asked so many times lately. I knew I would have to tell my children about her dying, but never really thought how young they would be when they realized that she isn't here. Mark's mom has been a big part of their lives and I think it is seeing her - Mark's mom - and not having anyone to attach to me as a mom. It has been 15 years and 3 months since she died. The pain isn't nearly as sharp as it was 15 years ago. But, when they ask about her it does hurt. Tonight as the kids were going to sleep, E asked (for the 100th time ha ha) where she is. "Where is your mom? Did she die?" And so I say yes. B filled in some of the blanks for her tonight. Without me saying more than "yes" to answer her question. He told her that my mom was really sick, the medicine stopped working, mamma was 19 and could take care of herself, on and and on he gave her details. I have always answered his questions and never thought he remembered every detail. I don't remember telling him that I was 19, but I have obviously told him. After this, he asked me to tell them stories of fun times I had with her. That is when it hurts...to think back on the time I had with her. As I told him about cutting grass with her and then jumping in the swimming pool to cool off, he said "I really wish we could have seen her and have met her". He has no idea how much I would love for them to have met her and even more for her to have met them. She was such a fun person, always laughing - most of the time. She would have been an incredible grandmother! To her, and to them....