EDIT: I started writing this post on Sunday, April 19th...

Three hours in a car, by myself, music up loud, and yes - me siging along. Not much else like it. You know the feeling....alone, singing songs you love, no one can hear you, so you sing as loud as you can, you don't care that the cars passing you (going at least 80 mph) can see you singing. Mark suggested that I drive the car home and the kids rode with him in the van - with a/c. Not having a/c wasn't an issue at all for me driving home. Window rolled down, singing to the top of my lungs, who cares about a/c.


We have been in Mobile since Wednesday evening. Well, Mark has been there since last Monday, the 13th. The kids & I drove down after school was out on Wednesday. We buried Mark's dad Friday afternoon. We visited with his family, that we haven't seen in some time. Unfortunately, this happens. You know the scene. Family members that you never talk to or see and then you are visiting with them at an unfortunate gathering of sorts. Mark's words over the course of last week were "the only thing worse than a death is attending a funeral with those left behind." I love this, very true. These are the things I wish I could wrap my mind around and make sense out of them. There are so many mysteries to the past that would answer so many questions, yet we do not ask these questions. Why not? Wouldn't life make SO much more sense if we knew what happened that formed/paved the way for what is happening now? We have family members who visit the town we live in - frequently, from what I understand - and we never hear from them. Not that we need to see or hear from someone EVERY time they visit our little part of this very big world, BUT so very strange that we could be tailgating right next to family and not know it until plates were prepared and food was being consumed. My dear husband said that he just tries not to think about it. Just the way it has always been, but I wonder if that is the case. My family just never comes this way at all anymore. ha ha So, no worries of running into any of them at the grocery on the weekend. I think I must just be nosey...wanting to know what all happened in the past to make things the way they are now with many family members - not just Mark's family, but mine as well. I think there are many secrets in this world of ours.

Mark has had a busy week since returning from Mobile. He said last night, that the stress of the last several weeks is pressing down on his shoulders. He is on his way out of town this morning for several days. I know it won't happen, but maybe some rest can be found for him while he is on this leg of his journey. Mark's mother will be here this weekend with me & the kids. I think we will go to a gathering in our city on Saturday morning. I want to work in the yard some this weekend too. I hope to get a lot done (and I need to see about making some curtains for a friend! I must talk to her about it this weekend!). We will see what all I get done..

And so the birthday season is over for our family for this year. Our season begins in February with E's b'day and is then rounded out in April with B & Mark's birthday just one day apart. This past weekend we had a great time with B's friends. We had a star wars/clone wars party. Mark and I were going to dinner on Saturday evening for his birthday. This plan was changed as he needed to make a trip to Mobile. We will re-schedule our dinner to another night.

Mark's dad has had many ups and downs over the last 5 weeks (yes, 5 weeks in ICU - surgical and then to medical ICU). Some time this morning, he is to be moved to another facility that is a place transition for physical therapty, etc. This is in hopes of recovery to move home at some point. A book could be written about the last 5 weeks.

Baseball season kicked off last Friday night - on B's birthday. Two years in a row that his first game was on his actual birthday. He is playing on the Orioles.

E is in gymnastics this quarter - was in ballet/tumbling. She loves it after two weeks. We go once a week. She would rather do cartwheels than walk to where she needs to go.

Small update on us....no deep thoughts these days, guess I don't have time to think deep thoughts.

Positive Update

I received the most positive update on Mark's dad today thus far. He was sitting up (in bed) watching television. He was responding to questions with shakes of his head and moving his mouth to 'speak'. He asked about our nephew, Ryan (14). Angie (Mark's sister & my wonderful SIL) is going to take Ryan to visit at the 5:30 visit. I hope and pray that the updates continue to move in this positive direction.

Prayers Needed

For a couple of issues:

Mark's dad continues to be in ICU and not doing well.

McMama - blog link on my blog to the right - baby, Stellan and their family. You can read an update here:
http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

Thanks.

Home Alone

I don't think there will be as much trouble around our house as in the movie, but I am home alone. Yesterday afternoon, Mark and the kids left for Mobile. They will be there until Sunday.
I am excited to have this time to myself, but still wonder what to do with this time. I have a list a mile long, but today is already spent, tomorrow left to figure out. Maybe some weeds wil be pulled tomorrow and maybe a book started this evening.

Mark's dad is still in ICU and has not done very well since his surgery. One thing after another has happened. The outcome is very uncertain at this point. He was doing well the day after surgery and then things began to go down hill. Sometimes it feels he is moving downhill much faster than others. Not much climbing back to the top right now. Mark is going to the ICU visits (some, at least) while he is there. The kids are playing with family.

Last summer he took the kids to Mobile and I had a project - the bathroom rennovation. He asked me to promise him that I would not start anything while they were away this time. I do have a guy coming in the morning to give me an estimate on a fence, but that is the extent of that kind of project this time around. My to-do list is much more manageable this time....pull weeds, rake leaves, cut grass, clean house, return B's pants, shop for me....oh, and should I remind you that I have tomorrow left of this fun time?

I left work today and met a friend for a pedicure. That was fun. Then I headed off to some retail stores to look around without a deadline or time limit on my excursion. It is very rare that I go anywhere without needing to be home at a certain time - that sounds like a curfew. Hey, maybe that is what I should just call it. Name it and be done with it!

OK, off to enjoy more of the quiet - and turn on music so it isn't so quiet.

More of AnnaM

I can't get enough of her. We were able to see her this past weekend. Here are a few photos of her and our kids.

9 weeks old


cousins....


eyelashes

cheeks

sweet love....

It's NOT the Color of Your Hair!

The color of one's hair has nothing to do with the ability of person to think or reason properly. Re-telling this story is to provide laughter and entertainment at my expense. On Thursday, I woke up...opened the refrigerator to get out some biscuits to make for the kids. I knew they didn't feel very cold. Felt the canned drinks in there...nope, not cold either. Opened the freezer, meat was beginning to defrost. I 'looked' at the thermostat, it said cold. Closed the door, sad that it wasn't working correctly. Took the day - yes the entire day - to look for a new refrigerator. Had tried to call service repair shops, to no avail. Finally found one, a good deal too. Fast-forward to yesterday afternoon. I was getting the last things out before we got the new one. Looked up at the thermostat....it was on cold, but it should have been on coldest!!!!!!! OR at least on the factory suggested, middle of the road, setting. Yes, I searched and searched for a refrigerator, purchased two and have now returned two. It turns out that our 4 year old daughter likes to play with the thermostat dials in the refrigerator. So, I was/am embarrassed that I spent that much time, involved several people, and NEVER needed the new refrigerator to begin with!!!!! Thankfully, we don't need a new one. But embarrassing that I didn't actually check the thermostat to begin with! Geeze...

UPDATE #2: Surgery went well, will be in ICU until Sunday or Monday.

UPDATE: The surgery has been postponed until tomorrow morning - a rescheduling mishap...

Mark's dad is going into the hospital in the morning. He is having the 2nd of 3 heart surgeries tomorrow. The first surgery, several weeks ago, was to clean out one of his carotid arteries. This second surgery is to replace his aortic valve. After his recovery from this, he will have the carotid artery in the other side of his neck done. Mark is there, he left this afternoon. Obviously, this is a serious surgery. He has other health problems, so we are hoping and praying that all goes well.

More party pics.....

These photos are in no particular order because I do not want to re-arrange them now that I have put them here.

Party Re-cap

Let's go back to Friday night of last week. I had two friends join me in setting up for E's birthday party. A & HB helped out SO much. I wouldn't have had everything ready without their help. We had a great time hanging out and decorating on Friday night.

Saturday morning we began by getting last minute things done. Mark decorated the cupcakes while I took a few more things to the church. I asked a friend to take photos at the party and will have more photos to post soon. Our flash is broken (yes, this sounds like a broken record about our camera!) so the ones we took aren't great. But some to post here until I have the photos H took for us. Yes, this was a Pinkalicious party with a lot of pink. But there were dress up clothes for the girls to change into, shoes to be worn, and jewelry to be added.So, the next few photos are of her dressed in an aqua tutu on loan from HB. I love the ones of her looking in the mirror....even though a little blurry, I still love them.



I think the girls had a fun time. We read the Pinkalicious book, made foam crafts, ate pink & green food, played with balloons, danced to music, dressed in many different outfits and just had a fun time. I know that I had a great time with all of them and celebrating with our "baby" girl who turned 4 yesterday!

Monday

Whew...it is quiet in my house and has been now for about 20 minutes. It has been a long few days at work (great weekend in between). Today was no exception. Today is one of the days I sit and wonder why I am a mom. Today I didn't do such a good job of being a mom. I came home and worked at the kitchen table with B while he did his homework. I then parked both of them in front of the TV so that I could continue to work. I don't do this very often, but guilt doesn't begin to describe it when I do. I did actually make them "dinner". Tomato soup & a grilled cheese sandwich. Bath time was very quick and back to the kitchen table to work more. I am frustrated with this project at work, and I wasn't nice to my children.

Now I sit here on the landing at the top of the stairs...with my laptop. Still reading new e-mail at 9:00 pm on this project. But, it is quiet...I can hear them both breathing now as they sleep. What a beautiful sound. Not just the silence, but their sounds. I am blessed to have them and thankful for them. Wishing I hadn't raised my voice, had NO patience, thankful I apologized to them. Tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate. The good thing is they still love me when I am not the best mom.

I welcome tomorrow.

1 week and counting

Pinkalicious party time!!! We are having a Pinkalicious princess dress up with makeup craft playtime pin the cherry on the cupcake book kind of party! As anyone can imagine, I am pretty excited about her party next weekend. Because this is a February birthday we are having it inside at our church in the fellowship hall. Of course, after next weekend, I will have photos to share. But for now, it is all in my head and drawn all over my pads of paper and notebook. Balloon flowers, chair covers (white pillow cases) with pink ties, maybe white lights, pink & green foods only, flowers hanging over the tables in the middle of the room between the columns. I really can't wait. I have recruited some friends to help me set up the party and the family is going to help with the party on Saturday.

All little girls should have a copy of this fun book, Pinkalicious. E has it almost completely memorized now. It is funny to "read" it with her. She "reads" most of it now. I can't believe that she is about to be 4. I know that I say it all of the time, but it is always hard for me to wrap my mind around a new age. How could have another year have passed? We all know far too well that it happens and very quickly.

Mark mentioned last night that B has already lived in our house 1/3 of the time that he will live with us before college. We only have 2/3 of this time left. Interesting to think about.

By the way, E just old me she wants a Tinkerbell party. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Sorry dear, that will have to wait until next year.

Tagged...fun, join in!

.....yes, anyone who reads this and has a blog!

20 Questions:
1. Do you own a box of crayons? we have a lot of crayons in our house
2. Do you always wear a seatbelt? Yes
3. When do you shower most often? mornings
4. What is the last thing you purchased? party supplies for E's b'day party
5. How often do you remember your dreams? every morning, it seems
6. How do you vent your anger? Don't ask....well most of the time, I get really quiet, which is very unusual for me!
7. Where were you on September 11, 2001? Working at ITC Holding Co. in Valley. We were all at work. 2 months pregnant. All of the employees watched it unfold on a small conference room television.
8. What is your ringtone? a 'song' that has become quite annoying
9. What is one thing you're looking forward to? E's birthday party? Not sure really that I am looking forward to anything. How sad is that?
10. Do you get eight hours of sleep each night? HA HA HA HA HA
11. How is your mood today? Good, can't really complain.
12. Have you ever changed your clothes in a vehicle? Yes
13. What is one thing you've learned about life? It's not all about me and my decisions impact others!
14. What is something you want to do within the next week? I guess I am not really a forward thinker...OH, year end statements for daycare!!
15. Do you care what people think of you? not usually
16. What scent are you wearing right now? None!
17. What do you carry with you at all times? cell phone
18. What was the last gift you gave someone? baby gift
19. What's one car you will never buy? any large vehicle, my van is getting too big for me!
20. How much money would it take for you to give up the internet for a year? HA HA HA - Mark would say a million or two. Money wouldn't make me give it up. Sorry!

Random Gathering

In our newly (2 years) renovated building, we have a nice kitchen/break-room with tables, etc. Very nice. We also have a flat screen TV in there. I walked past yesterday morning around 10:30 am. Not sure if anyone had even turned the tv on yet. One person, standing alone, watching the inauguration festivities. I watched her for a few seconds, seemed longer. Very symbolic to me. She recently lost her husband, before Christmas. Unexpected loss, unsure future, hope. Standing alone watching. I joined her. She told me that she thought of George W. as if he were approaching retirement. She was to retire in December. That all changed. She said that she imagined him being afraid and excited at the same time, "like when you face retirement" she said. I am thankful she is still here working with us.

Another co-worker joined us a few minutes later. Vicki. She and I had already discussed, earlier in the morning, how we weren't going to get much done today. I could tell she had already shed a tear or two and I confessed that I had as well. All it took was for me to see his motorcade leave this temporary housing to begin his day at the church service.

Next spectator joins. Consultant working here in our building with one of our centers. I don't know much about him, but I do know that I saw tears as he watched President Obama take his oath of office.

Where was Krislyn? I called her. "Get down here, we are all in the kitchen." She arrived shortly after a graduate student had joined the gathering. I assume graduate student, maybe undergrad. Kris and I had already shared a moment of crying in my office. She introduced me to "America's Song". If I can figure out how to add a song link to my blog, I will put it here. Until then, imagine it - because it is a beautiful song.

So an interesting mix we were, from all different walks and back-grounds. Our emotions were all fueled by different things - we have all come from different places to get where we are and have all experienced different parts of our southern state.

The next two spectators are two female graduate students in Chemical Engineering. Both of whom are married to military men. For me, RyAnne added an entirely different dynamic to the room. You see, her husband - Scott - was injured almost 2 years ago in a helicopter accident. In Afghanistan if I am not mistaken. He has severe brain trauma and has been in Tampa and/or Walter Reed for the entire time since the crash. She relies on our government - no matter what side of the aisle is in control - to take care of her husband. She has so many decisions left to make in the years to come. I am thankful she is the one strong enough to walk in her shoes. I am not sure I would have been able to do what she has done in this two years. Nor, would I have the outlook that she does now. Kudos to you RyAnne!! The other lady, Debbie. Her husband is no longer in the military. However, his tenure there made more than emotional and mental impacts on him. He was injured and has a prosthetic leg. I say this about these two amazing women only because when they arrived, it changed the room for me. They watched this inauguration with completely different eyes than I did or ever would. With change ahead so many military families will be impacted - not sure exactly how or what it will mean. But, I know they will be affected by this change.

I don't know the others that were in the room, very well. It was a hodge podge of people, gathered to watch this historic moment. I was moved to tears, again. Not as many as the night he was elected. But tears none the less! Here I was watching an African-American place his hand on an age-old Bible, taking the oath of office for....the President? Surely not. Yes, surely it did happen and I couldn't have been more proud. I thought of my children, B & E. I knew that B would be watching it at school. I wasn't sure about E. I found out later that she watched it. Her 4 year old mind couldn't process it all, of course. BUT, she watched it!

Her teachers, Veronica & Emmy, have been so effective in teaching her class this past week. All of last week they taught the class about the struggles in the 60's - Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, and Ruby Bridges. I hesitate to admit that B didn't know the story of Rosa Parks. When E began to tell the story, he remembered part of it. He didn't remember WHY she went to jail though. So, E told him about it. I had tears in my eyes listening in my kitchen. He turned to me...wide eyes. "Really?" he asked. "She went to jail because she was brown (what he has always referred to our African American friends, not black)?" He couldn't believe that she went to jail because of her skin color. His reply was that he would have kicked, beat up, pushed anyone who would have tried to take someone to jail because they were brown. It was a proud moment for me, I guess you could say. Then I had to tell him that violence wasn't the way to solve this problem. Then we spoke of MLK Jr and how he fought and didn't want violence to be the avenue for this change that needed to take place. So much to teach our children. The responsibility is heavy!

OK, all of this to say....I am proud of my children and that they aren't growing up hearing what I heard in my home in Saraland, AL. I am proud that they witnessed what they did yesterday; even if they don't completely understand it all.

It was a moving day and I woke up thinking about the Obama family this morning. Can you imagine waking up today, looking at your little sister, giggling...."we are IN the White House!!! Let's go tell mom & dad!"

Anna M